He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
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