Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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