She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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