Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
