finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
