I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize