I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize