Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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