Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
