i just google imaged poop.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
