...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Randomize
