Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
