I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
