You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Blood and glitter go together right?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
