it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
