why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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