Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Randomize
