We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Holy sore nipples Batman
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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