Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
