so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
