I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
