New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
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