i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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