Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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