I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
