Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Randomize
