To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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