hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
