This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Randomize
