we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
