I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize