She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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