I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
