I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
