I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
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