we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
