I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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