guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Randomize
