I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
