Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
