we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
