it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
