Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
