My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Randomize