The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
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