Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
