She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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