they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
