I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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