Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
