You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
