Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
