Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Randomize
