i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Randomize
