Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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