Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
