That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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