Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize