Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
