So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Randomize