Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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