i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize