I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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