so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
