I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
