My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I think i got beer on your cat.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
