I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
