U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
How does one acquire holy water?
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
