This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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