i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize