he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
