Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
