walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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