Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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