On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
