I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
