Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
This is the high leading the old right now
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
