SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
zippers are such a cool invention
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
