Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
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